There were many, but this one takes the cake:

That you need to be dependent.

I didn’t come to believe this for no reason.

Throughout history, philosophers and teachers have pointed this out.

Socrates, Maria Montessori, Ivan Illich and John Gatto to name a few.

The latter being the author of the book “Dumbing Us Down”.

A classic that highlights the many problems with the schooling system.

In it, Gatto talks about “The seven-lesson schoolteacher”.

These would be the 7 lessons school teachers inadvertently end up teaching kids.

They are, respectively:

1. Confusion: Subjects are taught in fragmented ways, leaving students confused.
2. Class Position: Students are made aware of their social status through grading and ranking.
3. Indifference: The system encourages apathy by moving students from subject to subject without fostering deep interest.
4. Emotional Dependency: Students learn to rely on authority figures for approval and disapproval.
5. Intellectual Dependency: The system teaches that knowledge comes from authoritative sources rather than through self-discovery.
6. Provisional Self-Esteem: Self-worth is tied to grades and external validation.
7. No Place to Hide: Students are constantly monitored and evaluated, leaving little room for personal privacy or autonomy.

If these sparked any curiosity, I highly recommend grabbing a copy of the book.

The one thing I want to focus on right now, though, is dependency.

Of the 7 seven lessons, 2 have that word.

That’s not a coincidence.

The reason why it shows up twice is because Gatto noticed how strong it was.

He taught in schools for 30 years and won the New York City Teacher of the Year award multiple times.

Yet, with such a brilliant career, he decided to abandon it all.

He couldn’t stand being a part of this dependency-building process any longer.

In his own words:

“Good students wait for a teacher to tell them what to do. This is the most important lesson of them all: we must wait for other people, better trained than ourselves, to make the meanings of our lives. The expert makes all the important choices; only I, the teacher, can determine what my kids must study, or rather, only the people who pay me can make those decisions, which I then enforce.” pg. 43

See, I’ve been teaching languages for almost a decade now.

Ever since my first day (when I was 16) I could tell this right away.

The most asked question by all the students always was:

“But how do I study?”

And do you know why they’d ask me that?

Because I’d always say this:

“You’ll not become fluent because of 1 hour a week with me.”

“You’ll only become fluent if you spend time with the language itself.”

Right then and there, they’d ask me the question.

They thought that just having grammar lessons would eventually make them fluent.

Now that they knew they had to study it at home, they were lost.

They didn’t know if they should do exercises from the book.

Or just watch a video or movie with the subtitles on.

Or maybe use an app?

No clue at all.

And guess what?

I didn’t either.

I was 16, spoke English fluently and had no idea how I did it.

But that’s precisely the point.

No one taught me how to learn it, I just tried a bunch of stuff I liked and it worked somehow.

Funnily enough, the few friends I had who also spoke English did the same.

And they couldn’t explain how they pulled it off either.

It just sort of “happened”.

This goes 100% against what you’re taught in school.

You’re taught to wait for instructions.

You’re told you need clear directions for everything.

I mean, the teachers know better, right?

Otherwise they wouldn’t be up there.

So, why would you even try doing it on your own?

And how could we blame the students for not trying.

If they step out of the guidelines, they’ll be punished for it.

Low grades, teacher warnings, the risk of being sent to the principal’s office…

The horror.

This fosters a deep belief in dependency as the only way.

In trusting and following whatever is determined as the correct path.

Now, here’s the problem with that.

Learning is, in its essence, an active endeavor.

That means it HAS to be actively pursued by the individual.

Once you understand that, you understand YOU need to do the work.

However, since you’re an individual, certain things will work better for you.

Others won’t, even if you’re payed to do them.

Just think about it for a second:

Every single skill you had to develop for your current job.

The thousands of things you had to learn to become a good parent.

The knowledge you acquired to be able to take care of your house.

I could go on for days.

Did you learn all of that in school?

Did you pay someone to guide you in each?

Of course not.

You found a way to do it.

You tested a bunch.

Made tons of mistakes.

Got tired of it all.

Maybe even thought of giving it up.

But you powered through.

And look at you now.

Do you even recognize how much you had to learn to get to where you are now?

You’re here.

You’re alive.

You made it.

YOU made it.

Do NOT forget that, whatever your current challenge is.

Maybe it’s learning a new language from scratch.

Maybe it’s preparing for you first trip abroad.

Maybe it’s having your first kid.

Whatever it is, know that you’ll pull through it.

But know that you’ll only do it if YOU put in the work.

So if you don’t know how to do something, do not wait.

Look it up.

Watch videos about it.

Write stuff down.

Roll up your sleeves and get down to business.

It’s been like that with everything in your life.

It won’t be different now.

That’s where true education begins.

Or, as John Gatto himself said:

“Whatever an education is, it should make you a unique individual, not a conformist; it should furnish you with an original spirit with which to tackle the big challenges; it should allow you to find values which will be your road map through life; it should make you spiritually rich, a person who loves whatever you are doing, wherever you are, whomever you are with; it should teach you what is important: how to live and how to die.” pg. 67

You can do it, my friend.

And you will.

Have faith.

And act on it.