First comes identity, which has to do with changing your beliefs, your worldview, your judgments etc.

Second is processes, which is concerned with the habits you have, the things you choose to do etc.

And last but not least, the outcomes level. This one is concerned with the results you’ll get: losing weight, winning a championship, getting a promotion etc.

James goes ahead to say that the problem with most people when it comes to changing their habits is, word for word:

“Many people begin the process of changing their habits by focusing on what they want to achieve. This leads us to outcome-based habits. The alternative is to build identity-based habits. With this approach, we start by focusing on who we wish to become.”

“Most people don’t even consider identity change when they set out to improve. They just think, “I want to be skinny (outcome) and if I stick to this diet, then I’ll be skinny (process).” They set goals and determine the actions they should take to achieve those goals without considering the beliefs that drive their actions. They never shift the way they look at themselves, and they don’t realize that their old identity can sabotage their new plans for change.”

Bingo.

THIS is why you need to be stubborn.

Because before you’re able to achieve whatever it is that you want, you need to change into the person that is able to do so.

I speak from firsthand experience.

The first time I attempted learning French, it was terrible.

So terrible in fact that I gave up about a month into it.

I couldn’t really figure out why I didn’t stick to it, but it was simple.

I was so focused on the processes (using apps, translating, watching lessons on YouTube) and on the outcomes I wanted, I forgot about changing who I was.

No wonder I couldn’t keep up, I didn’t identify myself with it.

I didn’t see myself as ‘the guy that is a French learner and will eventually speak fluent French’.

I didn’t even factor in that it could play a role in my learning process.

Well, not only does it play a role, it actually dictates if you will succeed or not.

Either, that failure made me curious.

It made wonder why it didn’t work like I thought it would, so I went about looking for answers.

I read more about language learning and how to leverage the adult brain to learn them, and so I tried a second time.

This time, it worked perfectly.

In about 7 to 8 months I was able to understand at least 90% of everything I watched or read.

But see, even though it did work and I was able to speak it, I couldn’t figure out why it worked exactly.

What I couldn’t figure out back then that I fully understand now is that I had changed my thoughts.

I used to mentally complain about how different the pronunciation was, how fast they spoke, that they inverted words for no reason (le verlan) etc.

That’s what I thought about the French language every time I interacted with it during the first attempt.

And that’s exactly why I failed miserably.

I failed because I didn’t understand how much my thought patterns and beliefs were directly impacting how I felt every time I did something in that language.

After I gave up, it took me about 3 months to really lock in, fully focus and try again.

THREE months.

That’s 90 days.

That’s 2160 hours.

That’s 3 months of me going “it could’ve worked man… why didn’t it?”

That’s stubbornness.

That’s me thinking that there had to be a way to make it work.

Maybe doing different things, trying other methods or something.

But there HAD to be a way.

The main reason why I say this book truly changed my life (and keeps doing it) is because it taught me that if you’re stubborn with finding ways to change your identity, new habits will naturally follow.

That’s how I’ve gotten to see literal thousands of people on my socials thanking me because, for the first time in their lives, they’re liking the English language.

They might not understand it, but it’s because they’re changing who they are.

They’re becoming the people that enjoy what they’re doing, which in turn will make them want to do even more of it and will eventually make them fluent.

Like a good friend of mine said recently: identity should drive activity.

Who you are will naturally drive what you do.

What you do will naturally drive what you get.

And what you get will literally be your life.

But understand that this change in identity is not something that takes place in a week.

You are who you are now because of the experiences and beliefs you’ve accumulated all these years.

You won’t change that in a couple of days period.

And that’s why, again, I give my advice I to you:

Be stubborn.

Try again.

Fail.

Get up.

Move forward.

Change.

I promise it won’t be easy.

But I promise it will be fucking worth it.

May you reach whatever you want, my friend.